I’m quite a cheerful person but thanks for asking! All of those designer dresses and drugs and papwalks still couldn’t wipe the misery off of SoFail’s horse face. If you had two brain cells to rub together you would realize that I’ve been studying the nature of celebrity for a while now. I don’t admire most of the people I’ve talked about, quite the opposite. The Kardashians were a trash culture phenomenon, they catered to the lowest common denominator and focused heavily on merching. For example, KK’s faux marriage to Kris Humphreys bagged her millions. She and her sisters have also yachted before, no surprise there. There have been numerous leaks about how Pimp Mama Kris operates and it taught me a lot about how PR really works. They set a bad example by convincing scores of thirsty women that one need have no talent to become famous, which brings us to Sophie Hunter. It’s hardly surprising that the ShamWedding was like a very British parody of KK’s own farce. The same tactics were being used to dupe the public into buying a lie…

PS: I’m the go-to person for news where I work. My peers are always asking me for the latest scoop, the resulting discussions not only alleviate boredom but are an awesome bonding experience.