2/2 From experience I’ve seen the nuttier type of women get married and have babies with successful men and they are set for life. Meanwhile women that are told to do everything right and wait until careers take off etc etc end up waiting around for a long time. I’m beginning to think bombshell beauty looks mean nothing to rich men and they are actually looking for something else in partners/marriage. I wonder if they prefer slightly unhinged – because it’s exciting – over mundane and pretty.
3. I did not mean to be insensitive when I said mental health issues. There are so many female celebrities that do suffer with mental illness and personal mental health issues. I applaud them for being open and honest and brave. My question was focused on rich men and their tastes/preferences. I mean Amber Heard is beyond loopy and she got to enjoy millions from Jonny Depp AND Elon Musk. Tessy of Luxembourg is engaged to a successful CEO and she’s known to be very messy/drama queen. Etc. Etc.
Hi anon, My extremely simplistic take could be summed up as: like attracts like, meaning chaotic people attract similarly chaotic people, or that shallow people attract similarly shallow people.
There are plenty to wealthy well adjusted people married to normal people. To me the common denominator in the examples you used isn’t wealth but fame. Fame is a drug and most times than not people who are addicted to fame have NPD traits that drive them, so it’s not that hard to see why they attract partners who share those traits with them.
The answer to that “phenomenon” is quite complex, because there are many different factors. I will try to list all of them.
First of all, what most women like to either forget or deny is the fact that the majority ( I repeat, majority) of successful, rich and famous men didn´t get to where they are today by being pushovers or nice guys who play by the rules.
Of course we can do this thing the whole day -> “but I know this actor, or this doctor, or this lawyer, or this millionaire, and he is….” whatever.
Insert all the positive attributes you can think of.
A Keanu Reeves-unicorn comes to mind.
Exceptions to the rule don´t disprove the entire rule.
Next thing: public image and the actual man behind the PR mask… sometimes as different as night and day.
You may be convinced that particular gazillionaire, celeb or Prince x,y or z is the sweetest cinnamon roll and most honorable philanthropist out there, who really really cares and is just waiting for the right woman to come along, so that he can be a husband and daddy… but often times, you couldn´t be more wrong.
Just because you don´t know what kind of a shitbag he really is, and his PR successfully sold a wholesome image for decades, none of it needs to be true.
Exhibit A: Harry Markle… you know, the guy formerly known as Henry Mountbatten Windsor, Prince Harry of the United Kingdom.
And hey, just this week a lot of people – whether they were in the industry, just fans, or even his former wife – had a brutal awakening and saw their whole world come undone as Armie Hammer´s true personality got exposed in the leaked DMs.
Crying shame that one of my all time favorite movies and characters is now forever ruined….
Who´da ever thunk it? And wasn´t he a prototype for awesome gene pool, super tall, handsome, desirable, fucking filthy rich, famous?
Six foot five, acceptable bod, chiseled face, blond and blue eyed, goofy and funny. Stinking rich millionaire family with a a family line dating back to the time of the Russian Empire.
The grandfather was a personal friend of Lenin, a former secret double agent, oil tycoon and once in possession of one of the biggest and most valuable art collections in the world.
And then the more or less talented Armand Hammer the third gets into modeling and acting, and somehow even manages to end up in several Academy Award nominated movies (although never landing an actual big break himself). Marries the right white girl at the tender age of 23 and has two stinking cute kids with her.
But now we got to see why a “good girl” like Elizabeth Chambers actually never stood a chance and never should have married him. He had already hinted at his wife´s inadequacy in the bedroom in one very awkward and disrespectful interview, but one only fully understands the magnitude of things now… when one has read his private messages to all his “kittens”. And what kinds of things this man apparently needs to do to women to even slightly feel sexually fulfilled.
Next category: men who landed some huge gig out of sheer luck, or due to very long, hard and honest work, and then ended up settled for life in terms of mega wealth and fame.
They are not a regularity. They are rare cases.
Among the “good” types we usually find the more philosophical, chill, bohemian, artsy types. The nice ones. Those who don´t necessarily let stuff go to their heads. Those who might struggle with personal demons and trauma, and so their career seems to soar merely due to Fortuna always smiling on them – because it sure isn´t cold, calculating ambition that´s getting them where they are. And they are not clamoring to their fame and wealth either.
These men can choose between two paths: they will either never fall for, marry and knock up a crazy-ass-bitch (that would be Keanu, top man), or they will be destroyed by one (yes, Johnny, this is you… and poor Brendan Fraser too).
Yet another different category of men are all those already born into status, privilege, titles, wealth, inheritances, established legacies and built empires.
You´ll find your occasional good and idealistic egg among them; the rest learn from early age on which ruthlessness, laser focus, drive, ambition and discipline it takes to build, maintain and run the family empires.
What is expected from them and what won´t be tolerated.
Who are the right people to mingle with, form the right alliances with etc.
Whom they are allowed to fuck, whom they are allowed to marry, and what kind of woman brought home to the dinner table will cause them to be disowned in an instant by the powerful patriarch or matriarch.
From there on out, they also can choose between two paths: comply or revolt.
Most will comply, because men think in outcomes, terms of pleasure and comfort, and they plan their lives for themselves with a long outlook. And to them, basically no woman is worth a migraine when push comes to shove. They will choose legacy, money, the family business above all else.
Others will risk it all. Either out of sheer stupidity, being cunt struck, or because they genuinely know that the only way to finally assert themselves as their own man is to stand one´s ground.
Sometimes, going against everything their families, country, society, race, culture, fandom, management etc. want them to do, ends up being the best thing they could have possibly done for themselves.
For example: King Carl Gustaf marrying Silvia, King Willem Alexander marrying Maxima, Prince William marrying Kate, Prince Carl Philip marrying Sofia, David Bowie marrying Iman, Hugh Jackman marrying Deborra Lee Furness… and many others.
And then in contrast we have the fates of Paul McCartney, Brad Pitt (whom I actually don´t pity one bit), Johnny Depp and Prince Harry…
Personally, I have dealt with quite a few different types of rich and famous men:
Those who were born into it, but had a good nature in spite of it all, because their families taught them gratitude.
Those who were born into it, and were the most chauvinistic and narcissistic wankers and abusers you can possibly imagine, who would never let anyone around them forget how very beneath them the mere “plebs” are.
Those who had nothing, were self made, but then never forgot their humble beginnings and were they came from.
And last but not least those who came from nothing, were self made, but all that fame and fortune finally exposed all their inner asshole-ishness and ugliness in character.
Just as they say: “There are no ugly people, only people who are just too broke” (meaning -> money will get you the best plastic surgery, personal trainers, chefs, hair and make up stylists, fashion designers and their clothes), I would like to expand that concept further and say:
“Money doesn´t corrupt character, it only brings out the character that was merely well hidden and always there in reality. It´s just that previously they didn´t have the power, protection and freedom that comes with having tons of money.”
So my point is, while there are some good, nice, morally decent high level/high value men out there, women must never forget that they make up only a very small percentage of “nice guys” among all the killer alphas in the shark tank.
For every soft, sweet and unproblematic Keanu, for every emotionally lost and very easily to be manipulated Johnny, for every super nice guy and child at heart Chris Evans –> you get at least five Donald Trumps and Armie Hammers in that pool.
You think Ivana Zelnickova, Marla Maples and Melania Knauss lived a life of bliss and dream marriages with Donnie? They all knew exactly what they were getting themselves into. Still, would you have wanted to trade with them?
And believe it or not, there was a time when Donnie was young, slim, handsome and considered one hell of a catch.
I see and hear so many “Level Up” and “Femininity” channels as of lately, and some of the stuff being sold there as advice to gullible and delusional women with big dreams and hopes is just plain ass crazy and unrealistic.
They clearly have never dealt with the really big fish or Narc Alphas, don´t know the ugly reality and pitfalls of dating and marrying a really big Kahuna.
Let me tell you this from experience: it takes a very particular type of woman to not only rapidly snag such a man, but also to be able to stomach a relationship, a marriage, a household and having a family with him. Even with the best ones.
I had the chance to marry a millionaire and become a trophy wife/kept woman – in best case scenario even seemingly “independent” and “successful in my own right” wife with my own business – three times in my life.
In the end, I could not do it. Not with either one of those three guys.
I didn´t have it in me. Not in my twenties, not in my thirties.
I would have it in me NOW.
At almost 50, with all the important life lessons, emotional deaths and come-to-Jesus moments, all the big epiphanies and stupid illusions behind me. But my time is over. I´m no longer worth shit on the dating and marriage market.
So many women dream of landing their “Mister Big”, their “McDreamy”, their Prince Charming, but they have no idea what it really means to be with them, live with them, get with their program.
These men DON`T HAVE TIME for the kind of love and romance you seek.
It will never be about you.
I repeat, it will never be about you (the biggest problem for women in general, and especially for today´s very hyper sensitive, perpetually offended and entitled youngest generation of women).
No matter how beautiful the initial dating and honeymoon period with a billionaire, millionaire, Prince or Duke or Baron, heir of a business empire, doctor, lawyer, airline pilot, Hollywood actor etc. may be, and how he may have doted on you… you will wake up from that dream soon enough.
You will be alone more often than you realize; they are working, traveling for business, stressed out a lot. They vacation a lot less than you would imagine.
You will be wondering what he is doing and with whom when he is away. Very often, there will be another woman in the picture. If you are the monogamous type, it will brutally hurt you. Especially if it eventually turns out that he expects you to accept his philandering and just turn a blind eye to it. After all, doesn´t he give you a great life in exchange?
They don´t have the interest and the energy for all your emotional needs, your complaints, your need for attention. Even the good ones with the best intentions. Money doesn´t fall out of the sky. They have to keep moving and earning, and that takes up their time and energy. They have business meetings to attend, projects to run, employees to oversee and instruct. They have to solve hundreds of problems every day.
So they are not going to wait hand and foot on you, and they won´t be there to listen to you like a best girlfriend. They expect you to handle things yourself, entertain yourself, and make things easy for them. You have to make sure the household runs perfectly, either on your own or by hiring the right staff. And don´t ask them to do any chores – this will never be a 50/50 gig.
They will not stand for ultimatums, they are not gonna have it if you put your foot down because you “feel” that the two of you need to have a serious talk, or should go to couple´s counceling.
No matter what your highest degree is – you could be miles above him when it comes to that – you will never be the top dog. He won´t have it. You will not be more intelligent, more business savvy, more sophisticated. End of. Should you forget your place… he will remind you of it (that´s the bad Alpha. The good Alpha will be lovingly proud of you, but since he remains the one with the money, power and fame, you will still not outrank him in his world).
They will not put up with any combative attitude from their woman, who keeps yapping in their ear that she feels neglected, unseen, unheard, not taken seriously, hurt, and proceeds to make demands.
They will not stick around if you try to enforce the “90 days rule” during the initial dating period; they´ll simply be off to the next woman who is willing to spread her legs quicker than you.
They expect you to keep yourself in top shape physically. Hair, face, teeth, nails, body, your hygiene, your clothes, your shoes. If you think it goes both ways, think again. HE can age, gain weight and be sloppy all he wants to, if and when he wants to. You can´t.
They don´t care about your migraines and period cramps.
They don´t care about your degree, your career, your income.
They don´t share your ideas of what is erotic, what is kinky, what is romantic in the bedroom. They need more potent and outrageous stuff, because so many women have already thrown every trick and kink in the book at them that there´s nothing they haven´t already seen and done.
That is the reality of being with a high level man. An Alpha. Someone like Donald Trump, someone like Tom Cruise, someone who is a respected Alpha royal.
Someone who is the heir to some centuries old family legacy, business, lands and titles.
An outstanding surgeon.
A top lawyer.
A global male pop star with fans and groupies everywhere. A millionaire athlete.
You name it.
And like I already mentioned above, those are the reasons why the so called “good women” finish last. The “good women”, who on the one hand believe in romance, love and equality in a partnership, but on the other hand stupidly fall for that agenda we have been sold the last 50 years: get good grades, go to college/uni, get your Bachelors, get your Masters, get your PHD first, enjoy your twenties and thirties first, live your life first, strife to be independent, travel, have your career first before you get married and have kids! You have time for all that later! The right guy will show up when the time is right!
The “good women” are preoccupied with making something out of themselves for far too long, and becoming equal to these men.
They foolishly think they can move in the same ways and with the same timelines through life as the high level men, and they don´t understand their needs and secret desires (but if they get told what these men really want, they are outraged, disgusted and want to argue it away).
They want to impress and score high level men with their educations and degrees, with their talk about how ambitious and career oriented they are, how they don´t need a man because they make their own money and can take care of themselves.
They talk about what they “deserve”, what they want in “a real man”, they talk about wanting to find their “soulmate” and someone “on their level”.
They talk about love and commitment and how good relationships mean work, communication and compromises.
That´s the moment these men check out. Girl bye.
(once again, I am not talking about the good apples here).
Don´t believe me when it comes to this?
Oh honey, I have the “I fucked it up with a big fish” t-shirt.
Several t-shirts, actually. Because 19 – 29 year old me once bought into dumb and ineffective advice from other clueless women too.
These men may nod while they listen to you. They may agree with you. They may praise you for being such a special, smart, admirable woman who knows exactly what she wants.
Yet while they say all that to your face, in their mind they have already taken you off their list of hot candidates.
They might sleep with you. They might date you for a while. But they will do none of those things for you which the crazy-ass-bitch, the gold digger, the social climber will get out of them, and they will either never marry you or definitely not as fast.
Why? Because your mindset and your speech just made you completely unattractive to them. Too complicated, too difficult, while at the same time generic, boring, predictable with all your thoughts, actions and words.
Another typical entitled female of today´s modern times, that´s the conclusion they reach when they listen to you.
Exactly here is where the Ambers, Meghans, Heathers, Tessys and Hilarias of this world operate entirely differently.
First big difference:
YOU want love.
THEY DO NOT.
It´s not their priority. What they want is the ring, the name on the deed, the lifestyle, the fame, the wealth, doors being opened for their own plans and agendas, they want the kid(s) out of that man, a lucrative divorce if need be and decades of spousal support and alimony.
Second big difference:
YOU can´t twist yourself into a pretzel for a man and pretend long term to be someone and something that you´re not. And you don´t want to.
THEY CAN. AND THEY DO.
They will be whatever that man wants them to be while they work for that ring. They will be super feminine and submissive. They will adore and admire him. They will let them be the leader, the knight in shining armor. They will stalk him and feel him out to find out exactly what his preferences are, what his kinks are, and they will give him that fantasy turned flesh day and night. They will play helpless and vulnerable when it´s necessary.
I mean hell, we have seen some of those broads invent entire alternative names, life stories, educations and occupations, racial and cultural heritages without batting an eye lid!!!! Just because they knew it was something that appealed to the man in question!
Third big difference:
YOU don´t understand the art of timing.
Us “normal” women, once we are into a man, we lose complete control and our timing for “when should I / shouldn´t I do this” goes out the window.
Meaning, we become too emotionally open, too talkative, too clingy, too needy, too bitchy, too demanding, too entitled, etc. way too soon and far too often. Because we care too much. And we want that man. We want that relationship. We want that outcome. We want to move things along.
No matter how well we think we are hiding our eagerness or how easy going we believe to be, the man senses it. A man simply KNOWS when “has” a woman. You get my drift?
He knows you care more than him, that you care too much.
He knows you are obsessing.
He knows that you´re blowing your lid over his actions or inactions on the one hand and you would love to put your foot down and give him the “strong woman” and “I am the prize” act, but on the other hand you are terrified of messing things up.
Because one of life´s phenomenons: men are never lining up like crazy in front of a good woman´s door. They always chase the bitches.
So now that you have one (seemingly) great man finally calling you and going out with you, you are afraid that it will once again not work out.
But then you start playing those “games”… oh I´ll show him! I will make myself less available. I will be curt. I will be snippy. I will put my foot down and keep it real with him. I will give him an ultimatum. How has that ever worked out for most women?
And what happened in those few instances when you were dealing with a guy that you genuinely, really, truly, honestly didn´t give a shit about? Maybe even outright rejected? Right! That one kept chasing and coming back for more for quite some time, didn´t he?
This the part where you now protest “But those gold diggers did the exact same thing and started acting like total bitches to their men! They are psychos!”
Oh but see, they have their timing under control! And they are not emotionally invested, unlike you. And the man senses that as well. And that´s the thrill. Nothing is more frustrating and at the same time an exhilarating challenge to a man than knowing that he may be banging that woman´s body, but he doesn´t have her heart. And she´s totally fine with walking away from him too! Fuck!
The bitches know exactly how long they have to be sweet and exciting, and just a bit hard to get… when to love bomb and shower a man with an ungodly fucking firestorm of sex, kink, adoration, submission… when to unexpectedly retreat to keep him guessing and leave him wanting more… and then when to flip the switch and suddenly be dismissive and disinterested.
They also know a lot better when it´s time to begin triangulating and bring in genuine competition; they are not dilettantes in that area, they don´t use some low caliber men just for the sake of sparking a bit of jealousy. They never have just one high level target, they don´t put all their eggs in just one basket.
They cultivate a pool of several top candidates, and they fly from one to the other like carefree butterflies. That flirtatiousness and flightiness, as well as their ability to immediately move on if necessary, messes with a man´s head.
Why are they so good at this?
BECAUSE THEY ARE NOT LOOKING FOR LOVE, they are only looking for results.
Marriage. Titles. Mansions. Allowances. Gold, platinum and black credit cards. Alimony. The walk in closet with the Blahniks, Jimmy Choos, Prada, Dior, Chanel, Gucci, Lagerfeld. The car park.
Difference number four:
YOU follow the same timeline as a man and think it will not have any negative effect on your love life. You think you can, want and should get your degree first, party hard in the meantime, enjoy your life, ride the carousel (ahem, sorry!) put off marriage and kids until later, only date casually as long as you are in college or working hard to climb up the corporate ladder in the first five years of your career. You want to travel, see the world. Your priority is not finding a husband… now. Or having kids that soon. You first want to be someone. Find yourself. Fulfill your dreams.
A lot of women do this until they hit 32 – 35. I´m not saying there´s something wrong with that. I´m only saying it affects your outcomes. Because then at that age, most of us believe that we can turn around and say “Okay, I had my fun. Now I am ready for the real deal.”
And we think the right husband will just appear, because we “worked so hard to become the best version of ourselves”.
But darling, while you were busy with all those other things and time went by… the psycho gold digger was working the field of high level men hard.
BECAUSE THEY START YOUNG.
THEY ALREADY MAKE IT THEIR TOP PRIORITY TO ONE DAY MARRY RICH AND FAMOUS WHILE STILL IN HIGH SCHOOL.
You think about the kind of work you will do one day.
They WORK now and use their youngest, most fertile and best looking years, so that they never have to get a job later!
You get your degree because you want to work in that field and make it big. They work to make it big, so that they will never have to use any degree!
Oh sure, they will go to college/uni. But not for the same reasons as you. The degree, for them, only serves two purposes: it´s for their ego, and to shut up their female competition who blasts them as whores, sluts, gold diggers, social climbers, brainless bimbos etc.
Having a degree gives them the possibility to check their manicured nails and say “Who do you think you´re talking to, bitch? I graduated in business management!”
You go because you genuinely want that degree, the recognition and validation, and then the lucrative career. And you think that once you work in that white collar field, then you will land in the vicinity of all the best, eligible men on your level (which might happen at the age of 26 – 35).
Psycho gold digger enrolls in college at 18 and immediately joins a sorority to start networking. She will befriend the rich and popular girls and those who have brothers and cousins she can go for. She goes to the frat house and checks for the hottest and richest boys with influential families and equally influential friends.
She goes to every party, is in all the book clubs and at the school sport events; wherever there´s an activity on campus, some cause to join and to rally for… she´s in. Always super sweet, giggling, smiling, laughing. The life of the party. The heart and soul of the campus. The queen of the dorm house. Everyone knows her. Every male college student worth knowing (and making a pass at) knows her. Even those at other colleges and unis know her.
She works hard to get invites to these people´s homes and weddings all through the year. Invites to the country club. To the golf course. To debutante balls and other glam shindigs. She makes connections with older ladies of high society by joining several charities, going to fundraisers, art gallery openings, museums, the theater/opera, food and wine tastings. She will go to the horse races, to yacht clubs, she will try to afford going to skiing resorts such as Aspen, St. Moritz, Crans Montana, Verbier, Lech, the French Alps.
She forms alliances with other like minded females, or convinces some older wive, charitable rich widow, heiress, matriarch etc. to take her under her wings. Introduce her to the right people. To their sons, grandsons. And so on.
Ever seen Gilmore Girls? You think those rich old mothers and grandmothers setting their young ones up and tutoring the most promising girls isn´t real?
She will hang out nearby the stock market, banks, go to high end gyms and the cafés and restaurants these professionals frequent during their lunch breaks or for early after hours. She will always strategically try to get noticed and place herself where all these men can be found.
She approaches this like a full time job. This is her career.
So you see, until YOU graduate and leave college, she has already invested almost a decade into establishing a network, making herself visible at every chance, dating all the best men and only hanging out with people who can propel her further in life. She has years of a head start against you, and if you think you can come in later and wild around in her territory and hunting grounds, there´s hell to pay.
Reason number five:
The sex. The smut. The whorishness. If she´s physically stunning, she has an extra bonus and might not need to push the envelope that hard. God knows I have my opinion about Amber Heard, but it can´t be denied that a decade earlier she was angelically beautiful. And Johnny Depp ONLY fell for the most gorgeous, baby faced, super petite, feminine women. So she already had that power over him, and only needed to ramp things up by giving him great sex at a time when he was the most depressed and vulnerable. Hormones out of control, and bam, Johnny wanted to marry her because she was like an angel sent from heaven to save him. It really didn´t take much.
But if the gold digger bitch isn´t physically beautiful, then she has to and will make up for it by doing the most outrageous things.
She is also often the best match for a high level man because she is the only one willing to accept his darkest secrets and shit. Imagine your future husband confesses to you that he´s into men and wants to sleep with them, and just needs to be married for the sake of appearances and producing kids. She´s game.
Imagine he is into BDSM, you as an average woman are not. She´s game.
Imagine he´s into pedophilia. You would immediately end things and set out to destroy him. She´s game, and she uses her knowledge to press the best deal for herself.
Imagine he tells her that he wants an open marriage, but none of his previous partners was willing to accept that. Now she´s here, and she´s game.
He wants to be degraded, dominated. Choked, spanked. Peed on. He wants to pee or defecate on her. He wants her to diaper him and breastfeed him like a baby. He wants to live out rape fantasies. He wants to choke HER, do all kinds of rapey and abusive stuff. And she´s at his service.
He wants threesomes. He wants gang bangs and orgies with twenty people in one night. He wants to see her get fucked by his best friend. She will do it.
(These are all just examples of what MIGHT be deciding factors behind the scenes, when we see a super fast marriage and a man seemingly laying the world at some woman´s feet, and we just don´t get her appeal).
Reason number six:
YOU are absolutely terrified of ever ending up in an abusive relationship and not being loved.
THEY are not.
On the contrary, they love this kind of shit drama. They hope for it. Why? Because for one, they are world champions in dishing out abuse themselves, so there´s that. But more importantly, should the man ever lay hand on them or set one foot wrong in a way that could be misinterpreted as him having done something to her, it will be used as ammo. The bitch will blackmail him. Will destroy him in court and in the eyes of the public. Will press through an epic divorce deal. Even if she has to fabricate shit in order to succeed.
Very good masterpost but I think their assertion that “like attracts like” is an overgeneralization. Some high-status people, men and women alike, attract abusers because they have unresolved co-dependency issues. I’d also argue that you don’t need to create unecessary drama or resort to childish tricks to earn the respect of these people. If you act in a friendly but dignified manner and delineate clear boundaries most people will automatically treat you better.