• Opening up about your trauma and being honest about how it hurts you does not mean you’re “playing the victim.”
• Admitting you were victimized and now have long-term effects or PTSD as a result of it does not mean you have “a victim complex.”
• Struggling with trauma, abuse, or mental illness and needing to talk about it does not mean you are “weak” or “throwing a pity party.”
One of the most notorious ways to heal from trauma is to talk about it, over and over again, to as many people as you can, to regain a sense of power over the situation.
If someone tries to shame you for being “weak” or imply that you’re “trying to be a victim” by talking about your emotions and trauma, then they are not allowing you to heal and that’s fucked up.
A “victim complex” and “playing the victim” have nothing to do with actual victims of trauma and abuse. These phrases were originally used to describe people who were skilled at pretending to be victims when it suited them, as a conscious attempt to avoid responsibility for their actions.
Despite what you think, when you shame someone for “being a victim,” you’re not helping them and you’re not being “brutally honest.”
You’re just being invalidating as fuck and reinforcing the false belief that the victim is somehow to blame for what happened to them, a belief that many victims of trauma already struggle with.
You’re literally just making their trauma worse.