I can’t stess this enough: get help. I’m not being mean, I’m not trolling you either. But as a psychology student, it is very clear that you’re suffering from some kind of mental breakdown. It won’t get better unless you seek professional help. Think of your family, of what you’re putting them through. If you care about them, you’ll do something to sort out your issues. Do it before it’s too late and they’re forced to commit you.