Boundary Myths
Myth: If I set Boundaries, I’m being selfish.
Fact:
Appropriate boundaries actually increase our ability to care about others.
Myth: Boundaries are a sign of disobedience.
Fact:
A lack of boundaries is often a signal of disobedience. People who have shaky limits are often compliant on the outside, but rebellious and resentful on the inside.
Myth: If I begin setting boundaries, I will be hurt by others.
Fact:
Boundaries are a litmus test for the quality of our relationships. Those people in our lives who can respect our boundaries will love our wills, our opinions, our separateness.
Myth: If I set boundaries, I will hurt others.
Fact:
Boundaries are not an offensive weapon; boundaries are a defensive tool. Appropriate boundaries don’t control, attack, or hurt anyone. They simply prevent injury.
Myth: Boundaries mean that I am angry.
Fact:
Anger tells us that a boundary has been violated. This is generally not new anger, it’s old anger. It’s often years of no’s that were never voiced, never respected, and never listened to.