I’m entering college in 10 days. I’ve been in 2 abusive relationship since 2013. The most recent one lead to my sexual assault. I’ve been in therapy and am doing WAY better but I still haven’t been dating because I’ve been petrified that the next guy will also be abusive but I won’t notice until it’s out of the “honey moon” phase.
I’m talking to a guy I meet at orientation and he’s super cool and he likes me and what not. But I’m so terrified that he’s going to be like the rest. I have an anxiety disorder so in some ways I think it’s just my worry brain making me over analyze. The only real thing that he’s done is want to text 24/7 which is just like my ex.
But I told him I wasn’t ok with it and he backed off and respected it so far. Are there any other really major warning signs I should look out for?
I mean narcissistic abusers are really good at acting like the good boy of your dreams, but how do I know if this guys is bad or actually safe?
#LAVENDER sisterhood answer:
THIS IS SUCH A GOOD QUESTION.
#1 – You will attract men that are at your same level of growth so it is imperative that you work on yourself to attract a better guy. This includes defining your boundaries and self-esteem not related to whether or not he likes you.
Do a self-analysis. Am I allowing my self-esteem to be high & low simply by his behaviors towards me?