Aeltri

“The Diva Ingenue views the world as her oyster and herself as its pearl, the crowning achievement of the evolutionary process. Samuel Johnson once observed, “Almost every man wastes part of his life in attempts to display qualities which he does not possess, and to gain applause which he cannot keep” — words tailor-made to describe the Diva Ingenue. She fancies herself the next Idina Menzel and is ruthless, catty, conniving, morally bankrupt, and lacking in original thought. On any given production she has banged her leading man, the director, the music director, and the entire pit orchestra with the exception of the second strings. She has never once broken a nail at a set build, the words “supporting role” are not in her vocabulary, and God help the lighting designer who fails to spot her properly. If the Diva Ingenue ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy. Her natural enemy is the Talented Lackey (see #6), whom she sees as her personal clotheshorse and punching bag. The Talented Lackey, in turn, often fantasizes about spike-taping her to death and stashing the body in the props room, but would never dare; she’s too f-cking talented to replace.”