Mega Post (3rd August)  # 4

benedicts-third-testicle:

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(4/1)  Its Swarsie
When I first looked at that pic of SH, I thought she looked happier (definitely
not the same way she looks with beloved hubby) After looking at it again I see
a deer in headlights thing going on. Speaking of liars, Stephen Harper is
Satan? Could be. But all politicians could be Satan, or at least working for
him. They sure ain’t working for us. Except for Jack Layton. He was the only
politician who actually cared. Not sure about Mulcair and I think Libs voted in
Trudeau too soon. He’s got some good ideas but I think they could have waited
another ten years to allow him to get more experience. Even his father made
mistakes. Heard a conservative minority gov with lib and NDP working
together.  Zoolander trailer leaked?
Yeah, not. Come on PR, you really need to find a more original way to create
hype

Ballsy:  My first thought was “what’s with the
shit-eating grin”, I mean the other two are smiling normally.  Then, I tried to imagine her doing that at
Ben when he did the heart-eyes thing at her at the BAFTAs.  I was done then.  Couldn’t manage a coherent thought for a few
minutes.  Ah Canadian politics.  I don’t know much about it,
at least Wiki and I aren’t talking about how much we love (not) our PM,
or any discussion of his budgie-smugglers (that’s gonna set Wiks off, just
wait).  Again, did not vote for him.  Zoolander. 
Yeah, try again.  If you want to
put out a trailer, just put out a trailer. 
Just don’t try to lie about it. 
Hate that.   If you want a more
original way to create hype, how about a fake engagement/pregnancy/wedding and
have the actor at the centre of it all turn into an empty shell of his former
self whilst his “wife” gets her silly projects talked up in The Guardia . .
.  whoops, sorry – that’s been done
already.   

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(4/2)  i hope some
fuckery happens, but for selfish reasons. our PM has just kicked of an election
season that will run SEVENTY EIGHT MUTHER EFFING DAYS! Its literally one of the
longest canadian election runs in history. he is 1) trying to tap out the other
parties resources and 2) hoping we forget all his witchcraft/ get so tired we
just vote him in again. besides, the man has done election fraud 3x so far,
whats a 4th!? grrrrrrr.

Ballsy:   Just seventy eight days?   Don’t the US ones run for like 4 years?
Do I
smell a bit of a different type of revolution about to begin?   Tiptoes away quietly…

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(4/3)  So the only
time Xophie looks happy (as in something resembling a smile reaching her eyes)
is when she’s not in the company of the father of her “son”…save the shindig at
Buckingham palace, of course.  Much love
very affection. 

The real question is what are we going to do with all this
left over food that didn’t get eaten?!? 
At least we didn’t have to waste the alcohol. 

– Pupok the Scorpion

Ballsy:  I know! 
I also have two packets of uneaten Tim Tams (throws a couple of Red
Velvet ones at Leggsie to make up for her cat eating hers) and WAY too much
Baileys (you would think, not possible, but there it is).   I even
tried mixing some of the Baileys in the cream for the scones, but then I just
ended up with alcoholic whipped cream. 
😋
Sounds like you guys have a drawn out
election to hunker down for, heading to your bunkers for the duration?  You’ll need the grub for that.  😉

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(4/4)  And… 

As for the Guardian, I read their write up about WestJet
flying to Gatwick, and halfway through the article it changes focus to
Manchester.  I’d sort of get messing up
about a foreign airline, but not being able to get domestic airports straight? 

– Pupok the Scorpion

Ballsy:  Gatwick is RIGHT next to Manchester tho,
don’t you know how to use Googlema … 
Oh!  Whoops.

Really?  Checks. http://www.theguardian.com/business/2015/jun/16/westjet-low-cost-flights-gatwick-england-canada   

That’s odd.  Did they just whack two different stories
about airports together?  Are they
missing a middle bit?

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(4/5)   I know the show is not everyone’s cup of tea
but at the moment my weekly dose of eye candy is Hugh Dancy in Hannibal. 🙂 And
now Richard Armitage is in it too. Hmmm … Bunk is calling. 😀

Ballsy:   Oh,
Richard is on the list.  After finding
out that he’s my RIII homeboy, I slid myself So-So style over to him a tad.   Then did a google-image search on him.  Yeah, I’d watch him peeling potatoes.  And don’t forget, So-So didn’t
want to meet him
after Ben took her to see him in The Crucible.  So he had to go talk to Richard on his
own.  If you need any further evidence to
say that So-So is “off” it’s that.

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(4/6)  As a Brit, can
I just say if you’re expecting some sort of tabloid outrage because baby hasn’t
been registered then I wouldn’t hold your breath. Cilla Black, one of our best
loved celebs has died suddenly. Dec Donnelly, another popular celeb has just
got married l, and The Great British Bake Off is back. There is zero tabloid
interest in BC, Soaps or little Gravel.

Ballsy:   Cilla!  Not Cilla! 
🙁   OMG my Dad is probably
clutching his collection of her records and weeping as we speak.  And I’m not making light of it, he really
will be, he LOVED her.  Sad.   I don’t know the
other name.  But THE GREAT BRITISH BAKE
OFF IS BACK!!!!!   HOLD THE
PHONE!!!!   Actually, I don’t watch ANY
reality TV (hint, it’s not “reality”). 
Unless Mythbusters counts, and I don’t think it does.  Face. Palm.  
And not expecting tabloid outrage, as I’ve been saying, no baby, no
birth records, no registration required.

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(4/7)  I actually
thinks she looks the best I’ve ever seen her in that picture from Enniskillen.
Her smile reaches her eyes, she looks relaxed, her skin is glowing, and she
doesn’t look like she’s constantly screaming internally. But it’s curious that
she never manages to look this happy when she’s with her new husband and father
to her child. They both seem to make each other look worse, like they’re slowly
poisoning each other.

Ballsy:   Like
she planted some Wolfsbane, in his Oleander patch?   Or maybe they’re what happens when
Matter/Anti-Matter meet?

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(4/8)  How many Avant
Garde Opera/Theatre directors does it take to change a lightbulb? Who the fuck
knows. They would first have to consult family members or a spouse with the
gravitas to put them in proximity of said lightbulb. Next, glom onto the hard
work of countless others whilst inspiring a gang by pointing at mood boards
about changing a lightbulb. Then have an all out media blitz about how the bulb
changing being the most unique bulb change ever undertaken. Change bulb to
scant fanfare. Sulk.

Ballsy:   Well,
she’s got the steel frame at least to reach it.  There’s that.

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(4/9)  I’m going to
tell you a secret: if SH had entered this fauxmance looking like she does in
the instagram from Phaedra (all smiley and enjoying things and approachable and
happy and like she worked really hard to get where she is now(another secret:
she’s got a plainness to her which makes her very pretty)), I would have
thought she was nice fit for Ben. But she didn’t. So I don’t.

Ballsy:  Okay then. 
There’s the other side to this too. 
His.  If Ben hadn’t looked Pissed
Off to Kingdom Come around the time she fully entered the scene, and didn’t
arrive in L.A. after getting “engaged” to the “the most incredible woman he’s
ever met, his heart and centre, his now and forevermore” looking like he had a
hot poker shoved up his arse and a gun to his head? 
If his body language didn’t scream “get me out of this!”?   If he’d
been able to say her name, and if they had looked like they even knew each
other instead of acting like petulant children forced to stand next to each
other for a family photo?  If they had
even once managed to “sell” this properly like the “actors” they supposedly
are?  Then they might have sold it.  But they didn’t.  And we didn’t buy it.

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Are we looking at the same photos? SH is a moderately attractive woman with refined, symmetrical features. She’s not what one would call beautiful though, not by a long shot. She can look somewhat pretty when she cleans up. She’s got slightly hooded, close-set eyes, eyebrows that are set too low and slope downwards. Her nose is ok though it has a noticeable hump that gives it a witch-like appearance. Her face is overly long, she suffers from manjaw and her profile also reveals a weak chin. In short she resembles the Windsors in all of their equine glory.  

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