Theresa May Resignation Speech

Things are about to get interesting given the impending Crown/SpyGate kerfuffle on top of this Brexit mess. I’m glad I don’t live in the UK ATM 😐…

Capital Group, the company of Philip May, enjoyed huge profits because the centers are run by General Dynamics, which is owned by May’s investment firm. General Dynamics has been helping the US Office of Refugee Resettlement in processing immigrant-children cases as part of Trumps “zero tolerance” immigration policy. Theresa May described Donald Trump’s policy of separating immigrant children from their families as “deeply disturbing” and “wrong”, even though her family is enjoying huge profits from it. According to RT: As many as 2,000 children are reported to have been separated from their parents in just six weeks under the controversial policy. A distressing audio clip of children sobbing went viral on social media. A number of high-profile corporations have invested in ‘defense’ company, General Dynamics, which manufactures weapons. Philip May’s Capital Group is one such corporation. Its Capital Research Global Investors (CRGI) owns just under $4 billion worth of shares in General Dynamics as of June 20, representing almost seven percent of the company. Proceeds from the company holding children in detention centers will, therefore, have helped to finance Philip May’s paycheck from his role as a relationship manager with Capital Group. Theresa May’s husband has worked in this role for the $1.4-trillion global research investment company since 2005, and is reportedly the Tory leader’s “closest adviser,” according to Business Insider.

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UK Election Results

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Labour put up a good fight but alas…

Human beings in Great Britain are set to enjoy a last day of having human rights before Theresa May is elected Prime Minister on a platform of getting rid of all that namby-pamby, hippie nonsense.

It is expected that Ms May will retain her current position despite running an election campaign so bad it seemed to be satirising all previous election campaigns.

The first order of business will be renewing her contract with Satan to sell her soul to him for power.

She will then set fire to all human rights legislation so she can extradite who she wants, when she wants, dammit.

Then she’ll have some Findus Crispy Pancakes for tea and retire to bed.

People across the country were planning to spend today enjoying their human rights whilst they still had a chance.

“I’ll probably just spend today being considered innocent until proven guilty,” said unemployed hamster-wrangler Simon Williams.

“I’ve actually taken the day off,” said Eleanor Gay, a single Mum of nine and Professor of theoretical physics.

“I’m going to spend it believing in whatever religions I want and then having an opinion on stuff.”

However, the prime minister herself has denied she has a problem with human rights.

“These reports are incorrect, I wholeheartedly believe in the principle of universal human rights,” she confirmed.

“Just not for everyone.”