by Nadia Nongzai

“In 2009 the British MI5 distributed a 14-page document to hundreds of British banks, businesses, and financial institutions, titled “The Threat from Chinese Espionage”. It described a wide-ranging Chinese effort to blackmail Western business people over sexual relationships. The document explicitly warns that Chinese intelligence services are trying to cultivate “long-term relationships” and have been known to “exploit vulnerabilities such as sexual relationships … to pressurise individuals to cooperate with them.”

That will give you an idea of how serious this honey trapping business is. As you can read from the link, it has been described mainly as investigative tool/method/strategy/paradigm. But the public uses the word mainly in context of spy craft and that is how I will write this answer.

It’s just a fancy word for blackmail. Or obtaining information. The word honey is used because the target is baited using an object of sexual or romantic interest. It’s not an exact science and the definition is not precise.

The oldest trick in the book is the baby trap. Most frequently used by women in earlier times but going a little out of fashion. Let’s say my boyfriend is the honourable type. I get myself pregnant or tell him I am. Men of our parents’ generation and before would usually step up. Even in instances when the baby was not their own. Men also did this to women. Get her pregnant to force her to marry him. Or take her out on a date, make her late, get her parents pissed or make her say she cannot go home. Simpler times. Sigh!

As you can see from the general trend of this, a trap is essentially a logical move. It could be forced or unforced. You obtain leverage by using indiscretions of a certain nature. Your object could be anything.

You may remember in the movie, Inception, people in certain situations need to be trained and protected. In India, Ambani’s kids, movie stars, intelligence operatives, armed forces personnel in sensitive position etc are trained. You have a better chance of dealing with a honey trap if you are aware and prepared. The golden rule is always, thou shalt not commit indiscretions. But what’s life if not for a few thrills. They will have my ass if I go about writing what was in my brief. But I can show you a few tricks not in their manual.

My number one move is false intel. I give out a lot information, exact dates, specific location, names of individuals, photographs. They have been adequately vetted to be benign. But you never know. (You can bet your ass that Pakistani and Chinese Intelligence have found me by now. Except, they are smart and recognise a honey pot when they see one.) Those who need to know will know it is false intel.

Sometimes I insert a counter trap. I will insert a false intel and wait for someone to check it up at the specific place it can be verified. It’s sexy to stalk your stalkers. But kinda risky. But if you practice this diligently, if you never give full information about yourself, if you give faulty information about yourself, you can better protect yourself when it happens. And if you find someone checking up on you, it is generally a good indicator that the other party is having certain plans.

The second move is a classic. Reduce the arm of the lever. When I sense that I have been compromised, I will tell the fellow that I am a guy. I will make up some story that I have had a sex change or may be I will fake admit that I am a gay male and have been sending him pictures I have saved. Nothing like this to disorient a straight male. It works on all but trained operatives. If that happens, I am in the trap, not the other way around. I cannot take all the credit. I got the idea from a scandal involving some Transgender from the north east called Bidban Baruah and some IAF personnel

Another move is to come clean. Plenty of people know one of my FB profiles. They will see me admiting and apologising for letting them down. That my pictures in compromising poses have been leaked out. That way, the pay off to the trapper is greatly reduced. But this may not be an option if you are married.

Obtain Mutually Assured Destruction i.e. obtain counter leverage. You see, I can engage with impunity in sexting if I know the other party is an officer of the armed forces. I know he is gonna share the pics with his buddies. But even his buddies know that they have a lot of explaining to do if they leak it out. Any conduct unbecoming of a member of the armed forces is grounds for dismissal. A not hot woman like me is not worth the trouble :p

Do not be a hero. Play teams. One thing most girls do not realise is that boys are pack hunters. One will steal your focus. Another one will make a move. A third will get away with the loot. Some do hunt alone but those are rookies. One very smart boy sent me a message on quora saying he knows it is not one but multiple people operating this account. I may be smart. But I cannot be smarter than the collective intelligence of other people combined. But, then, I am rambling.

Have your gang check him or her out. They all know you are getting hot and heavy. What’s the harm in being transparent. You do not have to use vulgar words. Trust me, if your girls are not scared you will steal their man, or are interested in stealing your man, they will be glad to help. Of course, this gives your friends leverage over you. But whom do you prefer having leverage over you? Your girls whom you have vetted properly or some random dude?